The Apocalypse or Apoplectic Me

I just finished an article called “An Affinity”, in which I described my affinity for God and my disquieting beliefs about the Church and its doctrines and dogma. I now wish to inform you that there is also a monster residing within me. The old adage of duality, yin and yang. I wish to expound on the topic that there is another person within each of us that is capable of extreme horridness and cruelty.

I realize this may be unacceptable for many of you because you can’t foresee under any circumstance that you could commit evil or be unjust. This is common in that I see it in so many people. The proverbial Christian who loves everyone. A love child, the tree hugger, the pacifist, the pot stoned hippie or millennial, or just take a Quaalude and chill. The liberal’s talks about loving everyone and doing good deeds for all but I deem them pretty vicious. Almost like attack dogs or sharks in a feeding frenzy, attacking anyone that doesn’t agree with them.

I am not sure everyone has this same demon in them because we, as humans, keep him pretty well concealed in our façade of decency and decorum. I feel him within me and he or it is there, just below the surface and all I have to do is lose control and unleash this primeval animal upon the world.

There is vile hate smothering within me for certain individuals and acts of depravity that is only held in check by the strong chains of resolution. I want to strike out at and unhinge myself to destroy them all. Who do you ask would deserve such retribution from me? Let me elaborate;

  1. I hate with every fiber of my body the pedophile. The individual who would purposely kidnap or lure a young boy or girl to succumb to their evil desires. To rape a young girl (even a baby) or sodomize a young boy and then threaten their family (including pets) so as to keep their deed secret or in most instances kill the child. There is no more evil thing than these beings. I would with glee skin these people alive over hot coals and prolong their agony as long as I could. Does that shock you? There is this person within me.

  2. I tolerate gay men barely. I don’t hate gays! You can love anyone you please but loving someone is not the same as having sex with that person. 99% of gay men were seduced by an older homosexual man, preyed upon and taken advantage of. Gay men are predators. Sodomy is found nowhere in Nature, it’s just a power trip of domination over another. Like dogs, being on top!

  3. I despise Bi Sexual men in that they have anal sex with a man and then go home and have sex with their wives. I am sure no woman wants a penis in her that was just in an anus of a man. Sodomy is so gross, nasty, filthy and perverted (I have many adjectives to describe this un-natural act). Again you find it nowhere in Nature.

  4. While we are on sex, I have no quarrel with gay women or with transsexuals. If you want to change your sex and you can afford it, it’s your choice (not at tax payer’s expense). If you want to dress like a woman and wear panty hose or be a drag queen then I view you as strange, queer, and odd and a little weird. Women have been in harems since time immemorial and did what they had to do. Everyone masturbates!

  5. I also hate the racial riots happening all over America, the burning of cities and the looting and in your face attitude towards authority. I really would like to be a sniper in a hide, with a noise suppresser and pick the looters off one by one as they scurried thru the streets with their loot. It is all a lie! They are rioting over what was done to their ancestors 100 years ago, they aren't persecuted today. It's just an excuse to pillage.

I would guess you have pushed your chair back in astonishment and view me in a different light but reason tells me that there are a lot of ME’s out there. Am I a murder or a killer? We would have to clarify the titles. I would not plan or contrive to murder someone but in another sense I am perfectly willing to kill for certain reasons. That didn’t make much sense even to me.

I am a warrior and will fight and die for my country. I will stand in the breach and hold the line and gladly sacrifice my life for my love ones, my comrades in arms, my country and my way of life. In the same capacity if you give me a mission in a combat theatre then I will pull the trigger on an enemy in my sights. I would not purposely shoot a woman or child but if the woman is a combatant then so be it. I have often pondered the possibility of being given an unlawful order such as to kill women or children. Would I obey or disobey? In some instances you may be sacrificing your own life on moral principal. I reflect on a bomber dropping bombs from thousands of feet in the air, it kills everyone and everything. What of the airman’s conscious?

I abhor war but deem it necessary such as in WWII when the world had to defeat a sociopath maniac like Hitler. We fire bombed Germany and killed thousands of innocents but won the peace. The same of Japan when we dropped two A-Bombs and killed thousands of innocents but won the peace and saved millions of lives. It would have cost America another million lives to take Japan one island at a time so we saved lives.

I have been a hunter, warrior and adventurer all my life. I exalt in the thrill, the adrenaline rush, with your life wagered. I am old enough to know that there is no glory in war, just exceptional heroism. Warfare is horrid but a necessary function in times of turmoil. The world is a dangerous place and it takes people like me to survive and restore order. You can pray or stick your head in the sand but its people like me who go in harm’s way for duty and honor. God and Country, Duty and Honor!

I view myself as a heroic warrior though old and long in the tooth. There will always be man’s inhumanity to man. I am saddened by all the atrocities of the past. The Holocaust perpetuated by the Germans. The attempted extermination of the Armenians by the Turks. The millions that were killed by Po Pot in Cambodia, the Hutu / Tutsi conflict in Africa and so on and so on. There are those like me such as you see every day like policemen, firemen, park rangers, game wardens, people who carry firearms and stand between you and harm.

I am an Ancient Free and Accepted Mason and we are taught to tolerate even the intolerable but I dare say it’s hard to do. I accept a man or woman at their word. I will trust in almost anyone on first we meet. Deceive me or betray me is a lesson learned, I’ll not soon forget.

I love the innocence of children and animals because there is no deceit or avarice there. Only as we grow older do we learn to practice the more evil sins; greed, idolatry, betrayal, adultery, deceit, slothfulness, all of the Thou Shall Nots and the Seven deadly Sins. For every good character there is an evil one (duality)

Am I more good than evil? I think not because we put forth the good as best we can and hold the evil in check. I believe God is that light or spark within me that shines in goodness and compassion showing mercy and doing justice. The dark side of me is formidable but necessary just as is dark matter. The universe is balanced as are all things, again duality.

When tyrants and despots raise their ugly heads, when war becomes an extension of our politics and the world reverts into chaos. Its people like me that restore order and one or the other side wins. History is written by the victors. There will always be that “man's inhumanity to mankind”. The starving multitudes, the prison camps, the death marches or just extermination.

The world is a dangerous place and often an evil place. I don’t hold out much hope for Peace on Earth. I am sorry for my sorrowful outlook but I can’t help myself. I don’t ever foresee the USA, Russia, China, India, Iran, and the EU ever getting along and agreeing on anything. Everyone is self-centered and look out for their own self-interest. War is as inevitable as the sun rising.

The only way I would ever imagine a unified world would be if there were to arise an otherworldly threat that would unify all of mankind to face the threat. We have a lot of Sci-Fi movies that depict such a scenario. I think Mother Nature is akin to God in that it will correct our wrongs. There are too many humans on this earth and we will exhaust our resources eventually. I foresee a plague of global proportions. I see a solar flare or nuclear EMP destroying our electrical grids thus creating chaos and starvation, millions upon millions dying. It could be a global war with nuclear exchanges or a meteor striking Earth and ending all life. Why is mankind in the space race but to escape this planet and preserve the species?

I see freshwater becoming the most valuable commodity on Earth. Do you drink it, water your crops or flush your toilet? The Earth is pretty damn vulnerable to a host of calamities. Things like climate change is minor in that mankind will adapt to anything. We will build on top of or underneath the oceans so long as we don’t deplete the oceans. There are too many humans on Earth! Like the stock market there is a correction coming. It may not be in my lifetime but it will surely come.