At Eternity's Door

I was reminiscing about my open heart surgery. At the time I thought I had visited hell when I recovered from surgery. I still think I might have. I remember becoming aware and I was in this awful place that was dark and steamy with fumes of sulfur looking smoke rising but there were no demons or any hideous creatures at all. I remember I felt so sick, like I have never been before. I remember I started crying and exclaiming that I wasn't supposed to be there, that I belonged to God,why was I there? In the next instance I was on a beautiful white beach with palm trees and an emerald blue sea and the next instance I was awake in recovery which wasn't much better than the hell part because I was hurting so badly. My shoulders ached so bad that I was almost in tears. The surgeon said he had almost lost me at the very end of the surgery

so that may have had something to do with my ordeal.

People say they see a great white light when they die. I have seen that light twice in my life. As in the poem; once in Vietnam and again when I was washed over the side in a hurricane in July, 1979. Needless to say I survived. I remember being tumbled over and over and I could hear the propeller of the boat but I didn't know which way was up or down. I saw this great white light and I lazily swam toward it and I was at peace. The next thing I remember I was on the surface treading water in the midst of a hurricane. I was rescued that night by the Coast Guard along with a friend who was also washed overboard.

Twas my heart he held in his hands

The surgeon or might I say, High Priest

In whose hands?

Twas my Heart? Perchance my Soul?

Twas light I saw ere I faltered

Twas Hell I saw, ere I saw Heaven

Thrice I’ve seen that light


In Vietnam’s war I do recall

When In despair I cried Mama!

Again at a Maelstrom’s beckon call

Twas not my life I saw

But my wife and children lost

#Photography #nature #art