In one of my dreams, this term: A Thousand Grains of Sand, appeared. I took note of it and recorded it but haven’t arrived at an explanations as to what it means. There is another phrase;” the roiling sun has lost its desire to quench”, that I have also made note of. I have used “A thousand grains of sand” as a name for this poem and have been making an effort to make sense of it. I have incorporated some of the other words I received in my dreams like: microcosms, implore, esoteric and myriad.
I pay attention to my dreams because I think we should. Dreams are Biblical and historical though some would scoff at the idea of dreams and interpretations of dreams. I believe dreams represent our emotions and what is stressing us. I believe in visitations of love ones because I have experienced it and believe without a drought that it happened to me.
I was visited by my deceased brother, Gene Moore, after praying relentlessly for about six months after he passed. He appeared in my dreams and there were no words but complete understanding. He reassured me and comforted me but made it clear I could not follow him.
I have dreams all the time as most people do and this is where I get a lot of my ideas and topics to write about. I have discussed this topic in some of my other works but a visit is something entirely different and only those that it’s happened to can relate.
I make notes of the words and phrases that I receive in these dreams and keep them for further reference. I have struggled with this poem for months and I have approached its meaning from different perspectives but can’t arrive at a specific thought or subject as to its meaning.
After months of nattering with this poem and its topic I was again visited by the prose sprite as I call it. I guess it got tired of my dithering and decided to help me complete my thought. As before I had to get up and find writing material because I had none at hand. I jotted down a couple of lines and went back to sleep. It was not the end because there were phrases coming in rapid succession. I then got up and put the material in bed with me and was plagued all night it seems. Each time I had to roll over and while half asleep jot down a word or phrase. The next morning was funny as I tried to decipher my writings. I received all the words and thoughts I needed and it’s now clear that it pertained to me and my sour outlook on life.
I am sort of convinced the world is about to explode and devolve into chaos. There is nothing I can do about it except be prepared but I shouldn’t fret or worry because my attitude affects others. I am a “prepper” I admit. My Christian belief and Bible tell me” worry not for tomorrow for it will have enough worries of its own”
If you are offended then please try to understand that I am a Christian, I am not a hater nor a bigot. I am not a racist. I am homophobic I admit because of being preyed upon by homosexuals in my youth.I do not see sodomy in nature and therefore deem it as perverted. I attend church every Sunday and I pray and I am not ashamed to do so even out loud. I contribute to my community and I tithe 10%. I am an A.F. & A.M. Mason and a member of the Shriners and work for the benefit of burned and crippled children. I am a 32 Degree Scottish Rite Mason and donate my services.
I don't love everyone but I do have compassion for most. I hate what I deem to be sin. I am fierce and would personally torture and kill a child molester. I am a warrior and have self righteous indignation and anger. I am not perfect but I do pray for wisdom and to know the right of it. I am a Vietnam veteran and a patriot above all else. "For God and Country, Duty and Honor and I have a concealed weapon license and I carry a firearm. I refuse to be a victim and "with my last breath I will grapple with thee and spit at thee" Enjoy
In my dream this phrase did appear
Into what microcosms’ need I peer?
What message might its meaning burn?
What esoteric corner need I turn?
For what purpose need I know this term?
What symbolic lesson need I learn?
Why a thousand and not a score?
Who is the messenger I need implore?
The sandman dusts my dreams with such
With what I deem is not enough
To quieten the dreams I sustain
Lest I appear to be incompetently insane
Alas! You clueless Thwaite!
Whilst you muck about,Ignorance waits!
There is a craving needst be filled
For in you, hope to instill
You grumble with withering sighs
Hopelessly searching for some new sign
That promises hope for tomorrow
Wretchedly wallowing in pitiful sorrow
The 1000 grains are but virtues
Hope and trust you strain to see
But to gaze into your dog’s stare
Hope and trust you will find there
Their naivety: hope and trust in thee
Their lord and master, can't you see?
Your soul is empty and needst be healed
Like a mosquito, hope is often too flighty to feel
Hope and trust in mankind is useless
Unlike Moses seeking the promised oasis
"This world no longer let me love
My hope and treasure lie above"
Fragment by Ann Bradstreet, poem; Upon the Burning of our House