The name of this piece is as it sounds, I thought it might be my last attempt at writing poetry. Such is not the case for I have written many more to date. Back then as now I wake up with a church song echoing in my head and I whistle or sing it all day long and can't for the life of me figure out why.
I am not religious so I don't sing hymns to impress anyone besides I don't sing very well. I have never been asked to sing in a church choir and they will literally take anyone.
I sort of figured God was preparing me for the white robe and harp type stuff by implanting these nuisance hymns in my head. Thus I named it the last poem because I really thought I was coming"Nearer My God to Thee"
Dreams of my deceased brothers and sister and my Mama are sometimes present to make matters worse. It's like they are all gathering at the Pearly gates to welcome me home or bribe St Peter to let me in, My Mama has a lot of stroke up there I've heard.
I'm not sure my daddy or my youngest brother are up there because my younger brother sort of chases me in a sort of demonic hide and seek. He was sort of a devil his whole life and of course my father was a mean drunk and wife beater.
My youngest brother died the day of my mother's funeral service. I have often said it was Mama who arranged for him to die that day. I think she got to heaven and said" let's bring him on home now because he has never made a good decision in his whole life" and like I said,"Mama has some kind of stroke up there". I like this poem because it comes close to expressing my philosophy of life, it's my belief.
Awakening but with no impetus to rise
Languorous thoughts I critiquely surmise
Old hymns crescendo in melodious song
Sweet memories linger of times ere gone
Why the gospels echoing in my head?
Why the dreams of family long dead?
Why does my body so sorely groan?
I am a warrior grown old, my ferocity gone!
Alas! Is it the inevitable I fear?
Is my encroaching grave so near?
Is it the pale rider in the woods nearby?
Is it the night train’s lonesome whistle sigh?
Fear is not the word I purpose to use
Abiding faith is a phrase better used
I await my end with baited breath
A new beginning, there is no death
The universe wastes nothing, all is reused
The never ending cycle; death and rebirth abused
I have existed as life since it began upon Earth
From creation I came to encompass time’s girth
To have lived and loved with a passion
To have tasted life, to have breathed, nature's bastion
To have worked, raised children and loved a pet
To have laughed with joy and cried when sorrow beset
I have lived the only life I was destined to know
I deem I am far away from yesterday’s youthful glow